Dating vs Courtship

Brian Watts first presented this teaching to the parents of the Langley Covenant Community Church in 1996. Since then, hundreds of families have been helped by this material as they have tried to steer their young people through the mine-field of their teenage years.

The material has now been revised and updated and was presented again in another seminar at The King’s Community Church in November 2007. In this 4-part presentation, Brian shows us a biblical alternative to the dating scene that has proved so detrimental to our young people:

Deterring Dating and Clarifying Courtship

Part 1 : What's wrong with dating?  37 mins

Part 2 : The alternative to dating is... not dating   33 mins

Part 3 : Waiting not dating   40 mins

Part 4 : At the right time: courtship  39 mins


Part 1. What’s Wrong with Dating

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  • What is the best way to be prepared for marriage?

  • Does dating effectively prepare for marriage?

Romans 13:10


Part 2. The Alternative to Dating is... not Dating

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  • Teenagers should not ask the question “Who should I marry?”
  • Teenagers should wait until they can answer the question “When should I marry?”
    • Only ask “Who?” when you have answered “When?”
  • A. Committed to Courtship
  • B. Learning to wait
  • C. Celebrating singleness
    • “Why wait?”  - 1Cor 7
    • Don’t waste your singleness!
      • Singleness is a gift

Resource: “An agreement between a son / daughter and his/her parents…”


Part 3. Waiting, not Dating

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Dating does not prepare for marriage; it prepares for divorce

The teenage years are not about finding a partner. So what are they about?

  1. It is a time for “Father’s Business”
  2. It is a time for preparation under parental supervisions
  3. It is a time for warfare
  4. It is a time for prayer
  5. It is a time for team-work
  6. It is a time for friendship
  7. It is a time for the gift of singleness


Part 4.  At the right time: Courtship

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MP3 file with a right click on a control click HERE

Courtship:
“The act of soliciting favour. The act of wooing in love; solicitation of a woman  to marriage. Civility; elegance of manner.”  (Webster’s 1828 dictionary)

  • A. Preparing a case for your date in court
    • Financial preparation
    • Character preparation
  • B. Passing judgment on the case in court
  • C. The legal proceedings of the Court
    • Prayer
    • Involvement in work / ministry (Gen 24:16)
    • Developing friendship
    • Confirmation by witnesses (Gen 24:28)
    • Engagement
    • Wedding ceremony (Gen 24:60)
    • Consummation (Gen 24:67)

 

Conclusion:

Objections:

a) Won’t my kids be out of touch with their friends? Will it not be impossible to find a spouse?

b) Doesn’t this approach take out all sense of romance?

Brian Watts is Pastor of The King's Community Church and lives in Langley with his wife Rosalind.
mail: church@tkc.com
© 1994-2008 THE KING'S Community Church